Adulting is pretending you know what the noise in your car is.

The laundry chair is a lifestyle, not a phase.

Opened the fridge five times hoping new food appeared. Still nothing.

Unopened mail is just paper anxiety with stamps.

My email inbox looks like a crime scene.

Bought vegetables to feel healthy. Watched them slowly become a science project.

Did one chore. Took the rest of the day off to recover.