Coffee isn't a drink on Monday. It's a life support system.

My brain is still downloading the weekend. Estimated time: Friday.

Running on coffee, vibes and one remaining brain cell.

Weekend went by like a two-second ad I couldn't skip.

Monday: the season premiere nobody asked for.

Mondays should come with a skip intro button.

Me on Monday pretending I didn't lose a weekend to doomscrolling.