Tripped on absolutely nothing. Did a little jog to make it look sporty.

Got stuck in a revolving door. Went around twice to pretend it was on purpose.

Sent the text to the person I was texting about. Moving to the woods.

Replied all. To the entire company. With a thumbs up.

Went for a hug, they went for a handshake. We invented a new dance.

Elevator small talk is just two people speedrunning silence.

Thought I was on mute. Now the whole team knows my opinion on the meeting.