Aunt at dinner: 'So, what are you doing with your life?' Me: eating, hopefully in peace.

My dad's tech support is 'did you turn it off and walk away angry'.

Family dinner: three conversations, two grudges, one gravy boat.

Mom said 'we'll see', which is family code for 'no'.

Dad joke loading. Please stand by for groans.

Family road trip: 400 miles of 'are we there yet' and one wrong turn nobody admits.

Our family group chat is just mom sending blurry photos with 'look'.