Bath day? Dog chose chaos and mud.

The dog's face says 'innocent'. The feathers say 'lawyer up'.

I pay the rent. The cat owns the apartment.

Talked to my plants today. They're better listeners than most people.

My dog thinks the mail carrier is a supervillain.

My cat knocked it over, made eye contact, then knocked over another one for emphasis.

My dog runs a sock theft ring and I'm an accomplice.