Bold of you to assume I was listening.

Sorry, my sarcasm setting is stuck on default.

Wow, that's so interesting. Please, tell me more never.

Your opinion has been noted and filed under 'later never'.

I'd explain it to you, but I left my crayons at home.

I'm not ignoring you. I'm just prioritizing literally everything else.

I'm not sassy. I'm just honest with extra seasoning.