I'm not sassy. I'm just honest with extra seasoning.

Sorry, my sarcasm setting is stuck on default.

Wow, that's so interesting. Please, tell me more never.

Bold of you to assume I was listening.

Your opinion has been noted and filed under 'later never'.

I'd explain it to you, but I left my crayons at home.

I'm not ignoring you. I'm just prioritizing literally everything else.